kay so over the weekend i had to go over to my sister from my dad who left me's house cuz shes pregnant, then my mom got drunk with her mom so i was left home alone to take like four 5 meclizines oh and then before all that or rather inbetween the seeing my sister and my mom going to a club with old guys, i accidentally stole a belt from forever 21, and by accidentally i mean i walked out with it and didnt realize till like 10 minutes later that i hadnt paid for it so ya, on a plus side it looked pretty, oh and then i bought a MCR shirt so yeah that was my weekend.

a few couple other stuff, i was really freaky with parker the entire weekend which was funny at first but after a while i think it just sounded like i wanted to have an orgy with him because even though normally we've said random shit about eachother i think i did it so many times it just sounds like i wanna make out with him sooo...

i REALLY hope im not in love with parker, id actually die from embaressment, im a grade above parker too so it'd be kinda...Yeah

fuck what if i am, like NORMALLY id have a crush on liam but liam kinda abandoned me, and id usually have a crush on jeremy and its not like i dont, i like jeremy actually, its been a while and ive gotten used to dating him, its not like im obsessed with him but in some way i like him but...

parkers the only person that really gives me attention, the only person i talk to alot and theyre always gonna somehow make me happy

please dont tell me i love him fuck

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa fuck why do all my crushes get worse than the LAST one, my first crush was constantly gone from school, liam was kinda an ass and if i do have a crush on parker theres so many things wrong with that...

even writing this i dont know what to feel, fucking piece of shit i really am in love with him...

parkers my best friend, we've had alot of set backs but if i do have a crush and i tell him that thats gonna be the last setback and i REALLY cant have that happen...

i mean looking back on it...i always kinda acted like i did but i dont think i really did back then...

fuck.

on a side note joshua made this little groupchat with a bunch of people